Konnichiwa!

So, I’ve tried YouTube, I’ve tried talking about sewing, about fashion and politics. As I love writing so much, I prefer to stay here on my blog for now. I kind of feel awkward in videos – I know, you get used to it, but I’m so freaking self-conscious, it’s annoying. I’m much better with words and in the video I feel like I cannot speak freely, whereas it’s easy for me to speak my mind on my blog – in writing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the kind of person, who actually loves presentations and real life conversations, but I kind of prefer to see my audience – BUT, as they say: Never say never, right?
I guess, it’s something that gets better with practising, like most things. As for now, YouTube is not for me.

For myself, but not by myself

Anyway, most people, who read this, probably come here from Instagram. If you know my channel, you know, I love talking to you, guys. I love digging into some deep stuff, hear your opinions, your experiences and feel richer every day, because I’ve learned something. To hear different views, to try to understand them – this expands my horizon. I love that. I feel like Instagram made me even more tolerant. I thought, I was pretty tolerant before, but you can always improve yourself and make your best traits grow even stronger.

So, I will write about things, I don’t get tired of. Life. And so, that it doesn’t get too lonely in here, I’ll now and then ask some of you to write me your opinions about a specific subject and if you don’t mind, I’ll put them in here. This way, I hope we can get into conversations or maybe just reflect by hearing different sides.

Overthinking and rules you better ignore

I will not go into too much detail about how this blog will look like. From my bits of experience I can say, you have to try it first and just do it. If it’s fun, go on, if you think too much about it and don’t get anything done, it’s not for you.
I do not give up that easily as it sounds – sometimes you need to fail to understand, what you don’t like and what you love.
However, try not to OVERthink it. I tend to do that all the time. I started planning my blog one year ago and I’ve finished about 3 articles – ok, with videos, but still.
I love writing, but I somehow had difficulties to find the right subject for me to write about. I always thought about the future and all the social media marketing knowledge I’ve accumulated in my fulltime-job.
All these rules: Find your niche, specialise on a specific target audience, know their age, their hobbies and write for this niche only.
When you just get started, this can f*ck with your head, seriously. I have so many different hobbies, I found it very hard to get down to ONE. I felt like I could do 5 different niche blogs. As you can still see on my blog – I couldn’t bring myself to delete these posts yet, haha – every article has a totally different niche. What the hell is this blog about, now? Sewing? Fashion? Feminism? Otaku Stuff? (Don’t be mistaken, there is no answer yet.)

Why perfectionism failed me

When I did my sewing video, I realised, it’s hell of a work. I mean, I’ve studied film, I know how long it takes to make a video, if you do everything – light, editing, effects. And this was just too much for my first video.
I actually have shot even more videos – one with a nail design DIY, one with a hair-do. I had lots of material, but I also am a perfectionist and studying film didn’t help me, it slowed me down.
The editing had to be perfect. The light as well. The logic. The order. And there should be some effects, too – writing all the subs took a lot of time, too. And this was the effort for an easy DIY shirt, not even a dress or anything special! Doing this weekly? No way! Not if you’re working 40 hours a week.

A pic from the DIY Nail Art Video, I never posted

How I misunderstood my fashion interest

My next experiment was the fashion article, I think. I don’t have a video for this one, it was a blog article with a photo shoot. I wanted to try this. I did. I didn’t like it. And that’s fine.
Trying it made me realise, it’s not for me. I cannot write about a specific fashion item, only. I love fashion. I have my own style and it’s important to me. But I don’t want to write about it. There’s a big difference.
If it gets psychological – that’s a totally different thing. This is, where it gets interesting for me. Questions like “How does your favourite fashion item makes you feel like”. But not “How do you wear Maxi Dresses as a short person”. There are people out there, who are more passionate about fashion and even love writing about it – and those are the people, who should do that.

Taking photos was fun – writing about the dress not so much.

Why do I still feel anxious about my videos?

Then, I finally got closer to things, I could talk about for hours. I wanted to do this feminism series. I started with sexism in fashion and wanted to continue with different sexism topics like sexism at work or in the club, etc.
So, I’ve made it to the first part. And this is, where it got awkward for me.
This was personal. This was me. And I presented one of the most important topics for me in a video.
It was out there, for people to see. To agree with. To hate.
For a beginner, this was too much excitement already.
It’s strange how things like these can make you feel. I’ve played main parts on stage, I lead different groups, but it still made me feel uneasy to go into the unknown public with that. I felt like I haven’t said everything, I wanted to say. There was still more, but I didn’t want to bore anyone.

Fortunately, this one was a part of the video.

Communication, not facts

In the end, it feels much more right for me to start with these topics in written form. Step by step.
Because, what I really want to do, is to write. Reflect, write, communicate and write more.
So here I am. Talking to whoever reads this and hoping, you can relate or have something to say about these first steps yourself (I love to read your comments!) or just have fun reading this.

Here are some questions for you, I’m curious about:

  • Do you tend to overthink or do you just start and try things?

  • And if you’re a blogger, did you experience similar difficulties?

  • If you maybe even produced some videos for social media, how did your first videos make you feel?

Sayōnara,
xxx
Xeneko

3 Comments

  • First time reading your blog and this got me thinking about my social media platforms and what works for me. I first start blogging about Disney/Pixar movie reviews. But eventually faded from that and i started a YouTube Channel last year. I do want to get back into blogging but most of my fans are kids who aren’t into reading things…unfortunately.

    As for Overthinking, I tend to do so but I have to remind myself that I at least need to try in order to improve myself working at my goals.

    For example (answering your third question), My first few YouRube videos made me feel awkward and shy and I almost gave up, but I look back at the videos and give myself corrective criticism so i can do better next time. Whether it’s editing, scripting, filming, posture in video, etc.

    I do wanna blog again because I love writing and I see people’s blogs like yours, but I have no idea how I’d reach the audience who don’t mind to sit and read lol

    • Thank you for sharing your experiences with me, Daxani!
      I can relate very well to all those thoughts about how to please your own niche. And I think it’s admirable that you continued with your YouTube videos, eventhough it made you feel that way.
      If you really feel like writing though, it is maybe worth a try! I’m 28 years old and I know 2 people, who love Disney movies and definitely would be interested in Reviews aimed at an older audience. So maybe that’s what’s good about it: Because it is a niche (adults who love Disney), there are fewer people, who write about this, so this might be your unique selling point!
      I wish you lots of success with your YouTube channel and your blog!

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